There is so much work being done in the realm of self-trust and honoring one’s own truth and I love it all. However, I believe there are some deep misconceptions about what it actually means and how to practice it in real life. So often, when people talk about ‘honoring themselves’, or ‘honoring their truth’, what they are actually saying is ‘I am right about x, y, z thing that’s happening outside of myself,’ or ‘I’m right about how the world is, how men or women are, or right about that person over there’. But radical self-trust doesn’t rely on being right about someone or something outside of ourselves. In fact, it encourages the exact opposite—knowing that we actually don’t know—that all we can really know and trust is own felt experience and that’s OK! I believe that one of the main ways we actually diminish our self-trust is by making trusting ourselves dependant on it making sense. One of the most frequent examples I see of this is around whether we trust another person, or not. Imagine you’re at a friend’s party and there’s a person there that you feel uncomfortable around. The two common ways to deal with this are:
- To come up with reasons to justify why you feel uncomfortable.
- To tell yourself there’s no good reason to feel uncomfortable, so you shouldn’t feel that way.